Here I am today to declare the unforgivable sins that I've committed in the past till now. My sins may be relatively small because it doesn't involve anyone getting hurt or the illegal things that I shouldn't have engaged in but somehow, the wrongdoings are still part of my misbehavior that I've portrayed.
There are times when I've lost my sense of purpose in life as I wondered in mind whether God is there with me or not. You may think that it is not much of concern to think about it but I myself have carried it within my soul till I'm nearly drop dead. I believe in God if I'm well and if I don't, then I don't believe....SO what's the point in believing in the first place as long as it satisfies your need?
Several times I have given up and gone astray as I start to see life pointless to me. I've tried my best to improve but then I would give up easily after a few days of hard work restraining myself from misbehaving. It seems to me that at times living your life recklessly like watching anime or manga 24/7 is enjoyable. And this is where I got addicted. With the bad thoughts in me as well as the temptations that I've have to handle with, I might as well commit them so that it will go away and my fleshly desire be fulfilled. Nevertheless, I would be extremely regretful and deep in thoughts as I began to struggle with my conscience telling me that it isn't right to be doing them.
Also, there are times when I'm reluctant to help my mum and dad out. Whenever they asked for my help, I can feel the raging hormone within me as I grew impatience with my lifestyle and how I wanted everything to go my way forever. I wanted to do things that I enjoy without them interfering. When I have a nap of 2 hours or so, I tend to wake up way after the time limit. I would be slouching on my bed wanting to continuing sleeping at the same time, the other half of me telling not to do it. However, I must admit that there has plenty of times that I sleep way too much on purpose.
Due to the fact that I can't deal with my emotions, I tend to get mixed up and tangled along with them. I may have committed the mistakes several times or more but why have I never learn a lesson from them? Why am I still here suffering needlessly when I should have grab hold and say sternly to myself that THIS IS ENOUGH.... Don't go there or else you know what will happen.....
So, here it is.....I'm a special girl that has been gifted with talents the very first day I was born onto this earth. You are who God has loved. Lay upon his shoulder and pass the burden to him and he will give you rest
Friends are there and many more beautiful things on earth waiting for me....so Stay Strong, my child..
This is what I would visualize from what God or a comforter would tell me.
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