Till now, I have only mentioned that I suffer from depression but to be honest, there were times when I might not recover as my illness exacerbated. I've been diagnosed differently several times and I do have taken pills other than depression ones. I have not told you denser than this because I found that it wasn't the right time to tell you.
But, now as I have nearly recovered to the fullest, I would like to make several promises and commitments to God and you so that I would not go astray like how I used to. I was a whiner and a cry baby because all I ever knew was to study and what else? Now, I see lights from every side of me and that new vision and mission are there for me to fulfill them. The experience of psychological problem gave me new perspectives of how I perceive the world before and after I recover.
Back then when I was severely ill, life seems hopeless and difficult to move on. There are times when I wish I had not been born because the world's vibe seems insurmountable for me to handle. However, thanks to my supportive family, understanding counselors and great faithful friends, I can see the bright side of my recovery. I wish to at least to contribute what I know and experience so that I will be able to somewhat provide comfort and relieve to those who are suffering.
I may be behind everyone else in terms of education status and social exposure but I will not be discouraged by my condition. Life is so much more when we can do anything only if you are willing. So, where does the will come from? For me, if it hadn't be for my family and friends and not forgetting God, where would I stand now? All these positive energy comes from our inner strength that can be developed as long we have passion for people and the world we live. Who cares how the world has turned out to be, for better or worse..? What's imperative is that you're still here to make tiny significant changes to your surroundings. Aren't I right? Take some time to think about it, and I'm sure we have a lot of opinions to say.
Though I have matured in certain ways, I am still timid in many aspects so there are more to be improved on. These will not happen within a few days but a life long journey of change. The world might not be pleasant realistically but never must we submit ourselves to the depth of the harsh reality.
Thus, I will continue to help and take good care of myself so that I can learn more about the world and what I can do for the people I love. Anyone out there reading this, let me tell you I deeply care for you and so does God. I would also want to see how I can make my life more meaningful from here onwards.....
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