An Odd Bewilderment

Sometimes, I find it strange that I would turn rebellious when I am recovering day by day, bit by bit from depression. I would find myself slacking off and wanting to escape work if I hadn't prepare my heart to do it. There are times when I would pretend to sleep whenever my mum walks into the room for I am not in a slightest interested of doing house chores....Hope mum never find out about this.

However, as I am writing this down, i feel the sense of my thoughts being able to flow more smoothly than how I used to face during periods of anxiety and depressive mode. At least now, I am able to rationalize properly and not react impulsively on my emotions and bad experiences of the past. So, I am in fact thankful to be able to stay alive knowing that I would be able to be a proper human being helping out those who are in trouble and having fun interacting in social activities.

I came to realize that study isn't about everything but it is just one of the better alternatives that offer greater opportunity and outcomes. Even if I am unable to study, I am still able to move on getting myself a job and achieve many years of working experiences. What matters the most isn't about your intelligence but it is more to the attitude we have towards the things we do and feel daily. As long as we know what important aspects we are prioritizing, then it makes it a lot easier to have our life going and goals achieved.

Tomorrow, I'll be having a small test on the Introduction to Healthcare and for that it does matter to me in a way because I'm not confident with my dedication, seriousness as well as my memory capacity to score well in my quiz. To cool myself down, I think I juz go and take a good NICE....nap of 1 to 2 hrs, I suppose. Hehe><

Did you see the change in my mood...Really am grateful that I am able to feel and joke around more naturally as I have much of my inner conflicts resolved. There's still a lot more but I think I can rest assured that everything will be just fine as long I put my trust in the Lord and continue to love and cherish myself. With that, I am more determined now to dispose myself from negative behaviours such as laziness, lack of self-esteem and unnecessary worries.  

Yes, I'm off to take a nap now so I'll chat more whenever I have the time and the desire to tell you about how I have been doing. 

Ps. I found it fascinating that I am able to talk more with me blogging than having to reserve the topics for the next time we meet. Probably because I couldn't remember them anyway and also I realized that the time we spent together is short.....So, got to use time wisely...